This is an excerpt from the transcript of a class I gave on narrative psychology.
Now when we are dealing with justifications, the male perspective on justifications, is to look at it in balance between things. And the female way of looking at justifications is to look at the imbalance between duration and time. Which will lead to really neat tricks that you can use by members of the opposite sex or of the same sex, in order to play their justifications, and get them to do exactly what you want, or be how you want them to be; with a minimum outlay of resources on your part.
Men don’t have a good sense of how long something takes duration-wise. So, all you have to do to make men justified and stay with something is tell them maybe. Maybe leaves it open, and as long as it’s maybe, there’s a chance it could happen. When there’s a chance it could happen, there’s no way of measuring how long they’ve been hung on the line with this chance of it happening, which is why whenever a woman want’s to lean a man in any respect, all she has to do is say maybe. If she says no, right from the beginning, no means no. If she says yes, yes means yes. Maybe means yes, but later, to a man. And so, that’s the way they are going to read it.
And as a result of it, you string on guys, by just saying maybe, until finally he’s waiting is so long, that begins to lose interest. And as he begins to lose interest for whatever it is, then all you have to do is show them a little progress by unbalancing the inequity between things just a little bit. And as soon as you do, just a little bit, then they see progress and even note it. Then you can keep on saying maybe until they lose interest again. But, you’ve reviewed all their interest because they’ve seen something budge.
Now for women, women have a very good sense of what the overall balance between things is. Meaning that it doesn’t take much leverage in the external, real world, to make them feel that progress has occurred. In other words, no real progress has to made and they can be fooled into thinking that progress has been made, because women think that how long it’s taking, before she sees progress, that’s how she measures it. How long does it seem before I’ve seen any progress. Now, a woman is not just looking at step progress like men are. She’s looking at acceleration progress. She’s looking at am I getting closer to the goal, because progress is being made faster? Like a train looming up into your face on a railroad track. That’s what she’s measuring. It can start off slow, but it’s got to accelerate.
Men are looking for linear progress, where you’ve covered a certain number of tries, and it’s more of an objective view of progress. The more subjective view of progress which women take, is that things seem to be looming closer and closer. So that, you get that feeling of acceleration, even though everybody hasn’t changed speed, but has changed speed in relationship to you. And so, it’s a doppler effect — it’s basically a female experience. When you want to string a woman along, all you have to do is to allow things first to accelerate a little bit. Now, that means that if you want a woman to do anything at all, you promise her that eventually she’s going to get something. When you say, when this is all over, you will get something. She will work for you without a timelock, she will work for you without an optionlock. Eventually, she will begin to feel that she is getting nowhere, and start to re-evaluate. As soon as you sense this happening, you give her a bite size candy bar, and put it on her desk, or a single carnation and put it on her desk. Now, she will say, “Oh, I’m getting closer to nice things, and therefore, the way things are going is accelerating, going better, because before I had nothing at all, and now I’ve got something, which is definitely an acceleration.
So, she will continue to work for you until she begins to sense, there’s been no acceleration. Now, because there’s been no acceleration. Now, because there’s been no acceleration, that means that the rose may have died, or the candy’s been eaten. The experience has gone a little bit behind. You cannot, and this is the mistake that men make in not being able to manipulate women, is give her another bite size candy bar, or another single carnation and have her feel that progress has been made, because she got another one. From men, as long as they are getting the treats doled out, they are going to figure O.K., I get one every so often so that’s how I am making progress, and they are continuing to pay me step by step as I do this job.
For a woman it doesn’t work that way. Next time she will will want a full-size candy bar or a single rose or two carnations, because you’ve got to show acceleration. Now that means that it’s very important for guys in order to save their resources, when trying to get women to do things and force them into justifications. I’ll hold out a little longer to do the job I don’t like, because things are going O.K., and I’m getting faster at where I want to go to. Start out small. Use the minimum investment you can at the beginning, and give her the smallest thing that will renew her interest, and then next time go to the minimum increment you can that will show to her that things are better than they were, because she got a bigger prize than she did last time. You’ll find that the frequency with which she needs these — Although she should never figure out that you’ve planned it out, so always go one day, one way, and one day another way. The frequency is roughly the same. They are like the railroad ties. She needs to have these railroad ties so often, but she’s not thinking that way, she’s just realizing that it’s beginning to wear off. And then she needs a bigger prize to be feeling like acceleration is being made.
Because for a woman, stacked linear progress, is no progress at all. For guys, as long as they do the steps being accomplished, they know that they will get there eventually, because they are charting it on a straight line. But women need to feel that it’s looming closer and closer. Because women deal primarily with time sense, and men with space sense. The space sense will demand that progress is measured by taking one step after another after another of equal increments if possible, until you’ve eaten away at the distance you have to cover, and you know exactly how long it’s going to take you to get to your destination. For a woman, she just has to feel that she’s getting to her destination faster and faster, because on any chore she’s doing that she doesn’t like, her interests are weighing faster and faster and deeper and deeper, and the baggage she’s carrying will get heavier and heavier, so that she has to feel that the end is closer and closer.
So, that’s how you would use the justification between the two.
Read the entire transcript here.