Phantasia
(Latin definition: imagination ; Greek: apparition)
By Melanie Anne Phillips
I saw a shadow in my house
And then it disappeared.
But in that moment, manifest,
Was that which I most feared.
For reaching deep within the folds
That house my spectral mind,
The shadow cast a ghastly light,
On self-awareness, blind.
And suddenly before myself,
I played the role I lived.
As to this captive audience,
My inner self was sieved.
My real motivations now,
Stepped forth to center stage:
The false pretense of kind concern,
The hidden selfish rage.
This horrid confrontation play,
Scorched blisters on my soul,
The ashes are my true estate,
My spirit dark as coal.
And smothered by the smoldering,
A Phoenix without wings.
It formed an embryonic id:
Most innocent of beings.
Flightless, as it lays there writhing,
Beneath the angry sky,
Yet through rejuvenation,
It cannot hope to die.
A miracle, a manacle,
A never-forming shape.
My life behind; my life ahead
The common noble ape.
At risk of all eternity,
In fear of none at all,
I saw the shadow reappear,
And heard its plaintiff call:
“The choice is yours; the choice is ours
To change or stay the same.”
Hearing now between its words,
I knew its Holy name.
Familiar spirit, that was it,
A near and distant elf,
A sprite I seldom see full on:
My inner shadow self.
Our lives are long, our time is short,
The end is always nigh.
May you be blessed, as I was blessed,
To live before you die.
