We're not sure who is the more
Those who read this, or those who write it.
Absolute Corruption Empowers Absolutely
Corollary ~ There are no good people in positions of power.
Between Iraq and a hard place...
Iraqniphobia: As of this writing, in the search for WMD - So far, the only "smoking guns" in Iraq are our own.
Holy Mother of God!
In the news today, hundreds of people gathered to view a fence post that cast a shadow resembling the Virgin Mary. Not news to us! Two thousand years ago, hundreds of people gather to view the Virgin Mary, who cast a shadow resembling a fence post. Had a face like a window...
Found on eBay:
The Eighth Stage of Grief
We have a friend who used to work for a distributor of pornographic videos. He was relating how after the terrorist attack of 9-11, sales dropped off for just two days before returning to their normal levels. We asked him if it took that long for people to get horny again. He replied, "Let's just say they found another way to grieve."
What's Wrong With This Picture?
On the news, the other day, Ted Kennedy came out strongly against a war with Iraq. Later on the program, the Chancellor of Germany said he was not in favor of a war. What's wrong with this picture: Ted Kennedy is the Voice of Reason and Germany doesn't want to go to war.
How Lazy IS He?
My cat is so lazy, he dreams of sleeping.
Country Western Song Title:
"Don't Tell Me Where it Itches, 'Cause I Don't Wanna Scratch"
"NEVER COUNT ON INERTIA;
NEVER DEPEND ON CHANGE"
"DON'T TAKE 'KNOW'
FOR AN ANSWER"
"THIS IS MY DAY JOB..."
"REPLACE LAB ANIMALS
WITH ABORTED FETUSES"
"SOLVE IT WITH SURGERY"
"IF THEY'RE OVERWEIGHT,
THEY'RE PROBABLY STRAIGHT"
The Hebrew language has 13 different words for "love." Eskimos have 31 words for "snow." Is there a connection? Think about it - 13, 31... Are Eskimos the inverse of Jews? And what about Jewish Eskimos? How many words would they have if they "love snow?" Perhaps Eskimos are a Lost Tribe? "He among you who is without sin, let him cast the first snowball...." And hence, the expression, "A snowball's chance in hell."
PhDs in Separation
I called the phone company the other day to resolve a technical problem. I was transferred through five people before I arrived at the sixth, who was able to help. There are six degrees of separation between any two individuals on the planet. All of which means that I have just as much chance of getting problems resolved at the phone company as I do of meeting the Pope.
The Un-American Army
Oil Money flows back to middle Eastern countries that support terrorism. SUVs get 15 miles per gallon. Army tanks get 15 gallons per mile. Who really supports terrorism?
Zen Thought for the Day
Life is a dream from which one wakens to oblivion.
When people go blind, they get seeing-eye dogs. But what happens when dogs go blind? The run into parked cars. Do they get seeing-eye-people? "A little to the left, Rover... That's it... NOOO, Not In Front Of The SNOW BLOWER!!!" And what is doggie brail, anyway? Probably a page with scents on it. You know the doggie brail word for "wanna be my friend?" The smell of a furry butt.
Rain at the Rose Parade
We want a deluge. Horses upside-down, floating down the street with their feet in the air. Everything is washed into the L.A. river - the floats all lined up like barges in the wash, bumping into each other. Why do you think they call them "floats?" Two-story jobbies running into low clearance bridges. Followed by the marching bands, each member still in position, bobbing up and down in unison as they play. From time to time they rearrange to form pictures and patterns while they bob, as they would on a football field.
Strange Fragments are written by Melanie & Teresa
Copyright 2003 Storymind