In the series “Band of Brothers” soldier Nixon visits his recently promoted friend Captain Winters, who now had an aide. To screw with the aide, Nixon asks him to find him a bacon sandwich, which is pretty unlikely on the front lines. Winters, concerned for his company that he was promoted out of asks Nixon to let him know if he hears any news and Nixon responds that Winters should “do the same for any bacon sandwich.” Now I don’t know about you, but sometimes a writers choice of a single word sticks with me, when another word wouldn’t have had that affect. The writer might have had Nixon say, “a” bacon sandwich, but had him say “any” to match Winters “any” news. But because of that unusual wording, I’ve been craving a bacon sandwich for three weeks now – and not just “a” bacon sandwich, but “any” bacon sandwich, as if “any” was a special kind of bacon sandwich, rather than meaning any old one will do. I’ve been bugging Teresa for almost a month now. Me: “I really have a craving for Any Bacon Sandwich.” Teresa: “Shut up.” Well, yesterday I went shopping at Stater brothers and picked up some Farmer John Bacon – the only brand that would do for a true “Any” bacon sandwich. I my mind, I imagined the sandwich as having that extra-smoky Farmer John flavor, crispy, but not overdone to the point of being too crunchy – more of a crispy but chewy texture. And because this isn’t just any bacon sandwich but “Any” bacon sandwich, it had to be on toast, medium so that every spot is at least golden brown (no raw white bread patches remaining) and no place was so brown it was black and burned. And the bread had to be buttered, and there had to be nothing else on it – no mayo, no pepper, no lettuce nor tomato. Oh, and most important of all, the bacon still had to be warm when you bite into it – not so hot as to burn, but no so cool as to lose the chewy. And that is what I made today for my lunch. The best damned Any Bacon Sandwich I’ve ever had. Perfection! Alas, having now written all about it, I find my craving has risen all over again. Only one thing to do – stop pumping words and head to the kitchen for one more Any Bacon Sandwich to follow the first one!
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