Here’s a little tip from narrative psychology theory you can use in everyday life:

When pressure is put upon the heart, the mind, it is like pumping up pressure in any closed vessel – it heats up, in this case with psychological energy. And that energy softens the pre-existing shape of the heart/mind so that is can conform to the shape of the pressures, and thereby avoid further pain.

When the pain stops, the pressure stops, and like any closed vessel in which the pressure is released, it cools quickly, freezing the heart/mind into this new pattern, which will continue to sustain unending, even if the original source of the pain is gone.

Only by warming that pattern up, a small bit at a time, in a safe setting and under your own control can you soften the shape within you that you wish to change and gradually siphon off the pain as you re-mold it into a pattern of peace and self-acceptance.

–Melanie Anne Phillips